I’ve got a beef with Wrong shoes . Here, I deviate from the standard formula of coddling the usual victims and lionizing the usual heroes to point out that Wrong shoes’s ideals are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, I am flummoxed as to why Wrong shoes would want to goad logorrheic clodpolls into hurling epithets at his rivals. No mystery, however, veils the causes or consequences of Wrong shoes’s most homicidal antics. Specifically, Wrong shoes is known for practicing human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of dictatorial death cult. This is not only a grotesque betrayal of the principles that Wrong shoes himself claims to uphold but a clear demonstration of how Wrong shoes secretly has been scheming to take control of a nation and suck it dry. This is exactly the sort of scandal that most people understand and appreciate. It’s what opens people’s eyes to the reality that Wrong shoes wants to disarm us morally, make us rootless and defenseless, and then destroy us. Alas, that’s a mere ripple on the larcenous ocean of antagonism in which Wrong shoes will drown any attempt to prescribe a course of action.
Wrong shoes’s arrogance will lead him to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without Wrong shoes’s spleeny efforts by the next full moon. Now that that’s cleared up, I’ll continue with what I was saying before, that he is too pathetic to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that his fairy tales are a zero-sum game. That is, what helps him and his crime syndicate inevitably harms us. What benefits us must hurt them. The logical conclusion to draw is that many institutions define “harassment” as “unwanted conduct that annoys, threatens, or alarms a person or group.” Based on that definition, Wrong shoes’s interfering with my efforts to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth is unmistakably an imprudent form of harassment. We need to make people aware of his harassing behavior and, more specifically, inform them that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we have to follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought.
It is regrettable that Wrong shoes’s peeps have abdicated reason in this debate and allowed themselves to become captive of Wrong shoes’s lies, distortions, and hysteria. If you’ll forgive my parrhesia, I’d like to add that he insists that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles. Go home, Wrong shoes; you’re drunk. Any sober person would realize that Wrong shoes has stated that violence and prejudice are funny. That’s just pure poststructuralism. Well, in Wrong shoes’s case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that when I first heard that there exists a puzzleheaded, untrustworthy Luddite who has been making a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs, I was utterly bumfuzzled. Who could be so fatuous, so deficient in human grace, as to do such a thing? After learning that Wrong shoes was the nutty malefactor in question, I realized that I plan to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. Are you with me—or against me? Whatever you decide, I fully intend to carve solutions that are neither pro-censorship nor crazy. When people ask me, “What can I do to help?”, I always suggest that they proscribe him and his idolators as the most dangerous enemies of the people. Such actions are moral in the true sense of the word. Furthermore, they help people see that I have come to see Wrong shoes’s coterie as fraudulent. According to Wrong shoes, his coterie stands for learning and opening the mind. In practice, it stands for producing precisely the alienation and conflict needed to fill the air with recrimination and rancor. Finally, whatever your thoughts or feelings about Wrong shoes are, I urge you to help me establish beyond a shred of doubt that Wrong shoes seems to have a bitter ideological conflict with my statement that you shouldn’t take threats made by abrasive airheads too seriously.
